


Falling Apart at the Seams

by moonlight_mist



Series: Fairy Tail One-Shots [3]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, But he's trying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Help, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I don't even want to know how many grammatical errors are in this thing, Like exclusively at 11 PM, M/M, No Smut, Please Kill Me, am i allowed to call it grayngst??, and there's nothing you can do to stop me, because, because I'm calling it grayngst, he was raised by a dragon, i don't know how to write angst and it s ho w s, i'm learning please don't bully me, natsu doesn't know how to deal with emotions, wow i'm so bad at tagging huh, y'know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-02 02:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20972138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlight_mist/pseuds/moonlight_mist
Summary: "His mood isn’t improved by the fact that it’s been a week since their argument and Gray still looks like death. His skin is somehow even paler (seriously, Natsu can’t figure out how that’s even possible) and he has permanent dark circles under his eyes that are giving him the look of a raccoon.Or a corpse.Natsu’s being optimistic and going with raccoon."---Something is clearly wrong with Gray, but he won't tell Natsu what it is. When Natsu pushes the wrong boundary, however, the walls come tumbling down.





	Falling Apart at the Seams

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "I'm trying, all the time, but it's just too hard."

Despite what many seemed to think, Natsu wasn’t an idiot.

Sure, he could be a bit dense. Yeah, he wasn’t going to deny his criminally short attention span. But there was no missing the way Gray had frozen up in their last battle.

It wasn’t like it was even a hard fight. True, the monsters had been persistent and stubbornly didn’t die as easily as he would have liked, but he’d fought much more difficult opponents. And so had Gray.

So why, then, had Gray’s reactions been so delayed? He had been so much slower than usual. And then, when a monster delivered what would have been a normally easily-avoidable attack, Gray had just… frozen. Stood stock-still. Natsu had had to stop what  _ he _ was doing in order to keep the ice idiot from getting clawed across the face, which resulted in Lucy getting her arm injured. 

Once all the monsters lay dead around them and Lucy had wrapped her arm in gauze, Natsu stormed up to the offending party. Poking his finger into the ice mage’s chest, he’d yelled, “What the hell was that, ice loser?”

Gray didn’t respond, which did nothing except fuel Natsu’s anger. 

“You could have died back there!” He crossed his arms, fuming. “Lucy is hurt because you got to scared to kill a stupid monster!”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Gray finally snapped back, clenching his fists.

“Boys!” Erza’s commanding voice carried over from across the field, where she’d re-quiped back into her normal armor after single handedly killing over half of the monsters. “Cease your futile arguing!”

“Yeah,” Lucy agreed, rubbing her arm where the gauze was. “It’s not that big of a deal, Natsu. I’m fine, Gray’s fine, you’re fine, so let’s just get the reward and go home, okay?”

And so now they’re walking back home (Natsu had vehemently objected to taking the train, and it was only a few hour’s walk, so what was the point?), Lucy inside of her clock spirit with the given reasoning of “I’m injured!” and Erza leading the charge, leaving Gray and Natsu alone in the back of the line.

Now that he’s looking at him again, Natsu does feel a little bad about yelling at the ice mage. Gray definitely isn’t looking his best: his cheeks are too hollow, his eyes too sunken, his skin somehow paler than usual (Natsu hadn’t even realised it could  _ get _ any paler, but obviously he’d been wrong). Gray kept half-yawning, though he attempted to stifle the yawns any time they began, as if he was scared someone would hear.

In other words, Gray was clearly in bad shape. But  _ why? _

“I’m sorry about yelling at you,” He says, kicking a rock as he walks.

Gray shrugs. “It’s fine. S’not a big deal.”

“Seriously, what’s going on with you?” He decides getting straight to the point is better than dancing around it.

He doesn’t miss the way Gray tenses up. “Nothing,” the ice mage replies, not looking him in the eyes.

Natsu’s known Gray long enough to know that Gray isn’t going to tell him about his emotions. Gray’s never really been the sharey type, especially not when it comes to his problems. 

“Really?” He presses. He doesn’t want to make Gray share anything he doesn’t want to, but Gray looks like a corpse. There’s no way he’s going to let any member of Fairy Tail- even his rival- go through whatever Gray’s going through alone.

“Yes, really.” And now Gray’s back to snapping. Natsu frowns. He supposes he isn’t really the best person for this job. _ Maybe he’d prefer it if Juvia helped him instead? _

A strange feeling overtakes him at the thought. Instead of dwelling on it, he just sighs and walks faster so that he’s in front of Gray. 

It’s obvious that Gray isn’t going to tell him what’s wrong. So why bother?

The issue doesn’t resurface again until about a week later. Natsu had just gotten back from a smaller job he’d gone on with Lucy to help pay her rent, and, naturally, the first thing he’d done after walking in the guild was challenge Gray to a fight.

And, naturally, the second thing he’d done was get himself and Gray kicked out of the guildhall by Mira after he’d destroyed a ceiling rafter. Again.

So nows he’s stuck in a muddy field in the drizzling rain (the worst kind of weather, in Natsu’s not-so-humble opinion) after Mira had told them to “go destroy things elsewhere” with that sickly sweet smile that forcibly reminded everyone why her nickname was the She-Devil.

His mood isn’t improved by the fact that it’s been a week since their argument and Gray  _ still _ looks like death. His skin is somehow even paler (seriously, Natsu can’t figure out how that’s even possible) and he has permanent dark circles under his eyes that are giving him the look of a raccoon.

Or a corpse.

Natsu’s being optimistic and going with raccoon.

Natsu throws a simple punch that Gray should have been easily able to dodge. So when his fist connects with the ice mage’s jaw, he knows for sure something is wrong.

He’s not letting Gray off the hook this time. Natsu runs through different ways to approach this situation: with gentle compassion? Firm demands?

He settles on the easiest: anger. 

“What’s fucking wrong with you, Fullbuster?” He shouts, watching Gray from where his opponent had fallen onto the ground when he met the fire dragon slayer’s punch. “Are you even trying?”

Sue him! Natsu’s never really been good at addressing feelings, especially where Gray Fullbuster is concerned. When he was growing up, Igneel tended to get pretty angry, even when that anger contained softness, and Natsu can only suppose his foster father’s methods have rubbed off on him.

Gray’s eyes widen at his words. “Of course I am!” He yells back, his fangers tensing into a fist as he sat up.

“I- I am,” He says again, his voice weaker this time, like he’s trying to convince himself, though his fists tighten even more until his knuckles are stark-white. “I’m trying, all the time, but it’s just too hard.”

And suddenly Natsu realizes that maybe they aren’t talking about the spar anymore.

“Hey,” He softens his voice and crouches down so that he’s sitting next to Gray. 

When he extends a hand out to put it on Gray’s shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting gesture (again, being a dragon, Igneel was never really big on the whole physical-comfort thing), Gray flinches away violently, and Natsu quickly retracts his hand. 

“Sorry,” Gray apologizes almost immediately, and Natsu shakes his head.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. And… and if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine.” He’s trying to keep his voice soft- really, he’s trying- but soft-speaking just doesn’t really come naturally to Natsu.

But if it’s for Gray, Natsu figures he’s willing to learn quickly. 

“I-” Gray starts, but stops almost immediately, and Natsu can smell blood as Gray bites down hard on his bottom lip.

“It’s okay,” He whispers, and, after a moment’s hesitation, wraps his arms around the ice mage. Gray practically collapses onto him, arms clutching at his back as his entire body is wracked with trembling sobs.

“It’s okay,” Natsu repeats, rubbing small circles on Gray’s back. He can feel the raven-haired boy’s tears, so warm compared to the ice-cold of Gray’s skin, staining his shirt, but he really can’t bring himself to care. Not when Gray is clutching onto him like a lifeline, tears coming thick and fast. “It’s okay.”

“I can’t,” Gray sobs, his grip tightening. “Ever- ever since that stupid island, and- and seeing Deliora again, and- and remembering everything that happened b-back then, and-and then t-that idiot Lyon-” 

Gray’s unsteady voice dissolves into tears again. Natsu clutches him tighter. The memories of Galuna Island are scarring enough for him, and he can’t imagine what it’s like for Gray- Gray, who watched his entire town die before him, who watched Ur sacrifice herself for him, who watched his foster brother kill her all over again, who almost killed himself trying to seal Deliora again with Iced Shell.

“I’m sorry,” He whispers, because he can’t think of anything to say to that. “I- I wish I could help.”

“You already have,” Gray responds, pulling back a slight bit so that he can look Natsu in the eye. The puffy redness in the ice mage’s eyes tugs at Natsu’s heartstrings. 

“You and your- your stupid  _ brightness _ , it- it helps,” Gray whispers. “Even if you’re denser than a brick, you- you’re so stupidly kind, and- and you brighten up every room you’re in and-” His head ducks down, and Natsu’s pretty sure he can see a dusting of pink on the noirette’s cheeks.

“You’re so  _ bright _ and I’m- I’m just sour and dark and-”

“No, you’re not,” Natsu growls. Gray’s eyes widen in surprise at his tone. “You’re not dark. You’re just calm, and peaceful, and you keep me grounded. Don’t think less of yourself.”

Gray collapses back onto Natsu’s chest, shaking again with barely repressed sobs.

  
“You- you don’t understand,” He chokes out. “I- fuck , I haven’t slept in weeks, Natsu. Everytime I close my eyes I see that demon, and Ur dying because of me, and-”

“That’s not your fault,” Natsu says determinedly. “Ur’s death was her own choice. She wouldn’t want you to kill yourself because of her.”

“I- I know,” Gray says guiltily, the memories of almost killing himself on Galuna bursting fresh and vibrant in his mind. 

“You’re stronger than them. Your demons.” Natsu pushes Gray up so that they’re looking each other in the eyes again, cupping his cheek with his palm. “You can’t let them get the better of you. You can win.”

“And you don’t have to do it alone,” The dragon slayer continues. “You’ve got Erza, and Lucy, and everyone from Fairy Tail.” Natsu smiles softly (when was the last time he did anything softly? He can’t remember). “And you’ve got me.”

A final tear drips down Gray’s cheek, and he whispers, “Please don’t leave.”

“I won’t,” Natsu promises. “I’m not going anywhere, Snowflake.”

He isn’t sure which one of them moves, but suddenly Gray’s mouth is pressed against his, and everything feels so  _ right _ .

Because even if the world is falling apart at the seams, they have each other. 

And nothing else could ever be as important.

**Author's Note:**

> So. That was that.
> 
> I don't write angst much, and it shows. This fic was written on a whim in the dead of night and it's so terrible but honestly I'm too tired to care.
> 
> Also I've decided to call this Grayngst. Because fuck it. It's 12 AM and I still haven't done my homework.
> 
> Please fucking kill me.
> 
> Aight. Mist out.


End file.
